British pop star Sheryl Cole has recently been voted the World’s sexiest Woman, but has told reporters in UK that she doesn’t like her body. She apparently complained that with all the dancing and exercises she does it’s impossible not to be thin. Yeah… I have the same problem Sheryl <cough>. 

Her biggest complaint was that she has no curves in all the right places, and in particular… she has no “bum”. 1 2 3… “Aaaaaaaaaaw” I feel pretty sure that will all her million she could buy a pair of padded underpants, or even… erm… do some butt-building exercises..? I’m no guru on these things, but I feel quite sure that there’s something else she could do apart from moaning about it! I mean how is that supposed to make the rest of us feel when the sexiest woman on the planet complains that SHE’S unhappy with her body..?

Ok, so it’s starting to sound more like a recipe for a fruit salad, but bear with me… or should that be pear with me..? Get it? Oh… I should have my own TV show. Yes I know… it was painful.

Right, enough hilarity! Let’s look at people with pear-shaped bodies. Pears have a body of two very distinct halves: top and bottom! On the top half, pears have it made. Toned arms, muscular backs, trim waist and pert little boobies. Hard to pick fault with any of that. You don’t have the heaving chest that Apples have, but you look good in almost any top.

Then we come to the bottom. Pears aren’t necessarily overweight, but the large hips and thighs can make it difficult to find things that you like, that you also suit.

So tops are easy for you as a Pear, but the hips is a problem area because it’s in such contrast with the upper half, but you have a great waist so make the most of it! Jackets with belts let you emphasize your waistline:

This pretty raincoat from Harajuku is perfect for the time of year. It is bright and colorful, so it’s versatile, not too heavy and at $106 it is an asset to any wardrobe. You may want to pull the belt a little tighter than shown here, just to really draw attention to your waist.

This short coat from Version Sud rests just above the hips, so it really emphasizes your waistline and actually detracts a bit from your hips. It’s wide sleeves also let you show off your toned arms, so you’re really letting the world see some of your best assets. Best of all, it’s only $37.99!

When it comes to trousers, you should really stick to flat fronts, and at all costs avoid side pockets, they only draw attention to the very area you’re trying to get away from. Besides… you might be tempted to put things in the pockets and… no no no, the image is just too much, I have to stop there.

As a Pear, you will likely also enjoy the curse of big ankles, and no amount of dieting or training will make a blind bit of difference. Avoid clogs like the plague, when people hear you clopping along they’ll look down to see what on earth is making all the noise, and we don’t want that now do we? No. Instead, you can get away with boots in a way that not many others can. They cover up your ankles without making you look ashamed of them.

These tall shaft round-toed boots from Aerosoles were made for Pears; they are ideal for any occasion, and can be worn almost any time… with the notable exception perhaps of a sunny day at the beach. Or a picnic… ok, but you get the idea, they ARE flexible! But starting at under $30, how flexible do they really need to be? Hmmm?

What is it they say about an apple a day? People with apple shaped bodies tend to want to cover them up. Apples are, by definition, round, and  for many it’s just easier to disguise your roundness than try to make the effort to enhance it and look good. The apple shape is probably one of the most common body shapes, and that’s why I decided to start with it. 

While other people might find your round shape appealing, it isn’t just as easy to dress it well as they might think, and that’s why many “apples” end up looking frumpy and dare I say it… dull!

But one of the most appealing features of an apple shape is you do tend to have a very nice cleavage, so why cover it up? Why not show it off? Let the world see that you are a beautiful juicy apple, fresher than they can imagine, and just dare them to take a bite! Now, I wouldn’t go too deep, but V Necks are an excellent and very trendy way to show off your beautiful plunging neckline. I say don’t go too deep, because after all, we want to leave something to the imagination. All to often, I see someone who clearly has a beautiful cleavage, but equally clearly seems to think that is her only appealing feature, and so decides to show it off… every last inch of it. No. Less is more sometimes. So how about this elegant V Neck top from Iwearit?

Available in small, medium, and large (don’t forget, apple shape doesn’t mean you’re automatically large!), and in red or black, this top has been reduced from $40 to $33.75, so you get to look stunning and know that you also got a bit of a deal. It’s also thermal, so great for those occasiona when you want to look your best, but the weather might not be as warm as you’d like! 

On the bottom apples have to be a little more careful. Traditional jean cuts tend not to work well for apples, so you need to look for tailored jeans or wide legged.  Otherwise, don’t go for jeans at all, there are plenty of wider cut trousers available in great fabrics other than denim! What you’re trying to avoid here is emphasizing your “appleness”, and most traditional cut jeans do exactly that! Avoid boot cut jeans that flair at the bottom, instead going for a nice wide but straight cut such as these straight jeans from First Issue:

I prefer something like these ($33.99 reduced from $48) to plus sized jeans that many apples tend to go for.

However, Apples… you have been blessed with the most beautifully sculpted calves. Why do you insist on covering them up? Show them off! And for that you need a skirt. I’d go for side-fastening skirts where possible. Avoid mini skirts, and anything that comes below the knee, you’re heading down that frumpy route again aren’t you!

This full skirt from Pura Vida is about as long as you want to be going Apples. It is a little puffy, so it accentuates your naturally beautiful curves without trying to apologize for them. Currently reduced from $34 to just $20.99, it sneaks in to give you an extra little something for Spring and Summer without making you pay till Autumn!

And finally girls, you need something on your feet! As I mentioned before, you have been blessed with great calves, and the best way to show them off is with a slight wedge!

Of course, if you’re going formal, this sandal from MIA might not be the way to go, but it will look luscious with that skirt above. The wedge eccentuates your perfect calves and toned ankles, and at only $17.98, it’s a bargain in my book!

So there we have it. Apples of the world, show your cleavage and your calves and listen for the gasps of adoration and envy as you glide by…

I had a couple of emails asking what fashionometry means. Well, when I was coming up with the name I was thinking about shapes and fashion, and how we are all different shapes and sizes, yet we all have to try to find clothes and colors that suite us, and show us off at our best. First of all, my first choices of domain name were taken, so I had to get a little bit more creative.

The mathematical study of shapes is geometry… so fashion + geometry = fashionometry, the pursuit of shapes and fashion in harmony. I know, it’s a bit tenuous, but like I say, my first choices were all taken, and no, I’m not going to tell you what they were because then you’ll just go and look at them!

But isn’t it interesting how people of all different shapes and sizes can still look great? It shows me that you don’t have to be Heidi Klum or Naomi Campbell to look great. Nor does money automatically bring good fashion sense; I present the court with Paris Hilton and Victoria Beckham… nuff said!

I think people who simply buy what the fashion houses tell them to buy are missing out. You have to wear something that reflects your personality, and says more about you than “I read Vogue”. The selection of t-shirts and pants on my homepage as I write this, is very simple. Simple, yet sexy. 

If you’re comfortable in what you’re wearing, you will ooze sex appeal. If you’re constantly checking your skirt, or pulling on your top, you look and feel uneasy, and people wonder “Does she have a tick?”

So… I’m all about finding clothes that match your shape and natural color, but also your personality. Over the next few posts, I’ll be sharing my own views on different body shapes, and suggesting a few fresh ideas that might be slightly unusual but I promise will be nonetheless tantalizing…

If, like me, your first thoughts when someone mentions lycra are Olivia Newton-John belting out “Let’s Get Physical”, you probably don’t have heaps and heaps of the stuff in your wardrobe. Personally, I feel the fashion world has used and abused lycra. It is an incredibly versatile material, but images of weight lifters and wrestlers bulging in places I really don’t want to see men bulge, leaves me feeling slightly uneasy about it. My friend, who for the sake of anonymity we shall call Julie, has a very bright pink work-out set made from lycra. Now, Julie has a decent shape. She isn’t skinny, but isn’t fat, she’s in proportion, and when she wears anything else, I think she looks quite stunning. But when she goes to the gym, she looks like a big luminous pink caterpillar! Now, I don’t know about you, but when i go to the gym, that’s not really what i want to see.

I know you’re wondering “Where is Billie going with this?” Well, my fellow fashionometrists… I am going here:

Believe it or not, these jeans from YMI are made of Lycra, which means of course they have a little bit of give in them. Or as I like to call it “forgiveness”.  Forgiveness for indulging in that extra cream puff with chocolate sauce, or that extra sausage… or that 3rd glass of wine… or that extra portion of fried chicken… ok, ok, you get my point. Back to the jeans. How much? Well, you know I always try to bring you a bargain or two, and these babies can be yours for the recession-beating price of only $18.50, that’s 75% OFF!  I know!!!! And let’s face it, you can always use an extra pair of jeans, right?

If you’re still not convinced that you can look good in lycra outside the gym, then let me open your eyes once and for all. Let the myths be banished, and the prejudices be gone, as I present you…

This cute little dress from Jax Couture will only set you back $92, and is available in a Maui Red, Maui Turquoise, or  Caribbean Blue and in a variety of sizes. Doesn’t it just make you want to pop down to the travel agents for a brochure right now? I must confess, I am really starting to fall in love with quite a few little summer dresses I’m finding in our store. I’d love to showcase them all right here for you, but you might get bored. Just click on the photo above to order this dress, or click here to return to the homepage to search for more sundresses.

And just in case you are already bored… I couldn’t leave you today without showing you something more traditionally “lycra”. 

Not only to I love this bikini, but that’s just how I sit when I go to the beach! I do! Don’t you? Oh come on… what if “he” happens to walk past and I’m huddled over like a sack of potatoes examining my blisters? That just won’t do, so I always make sure I assume the pose…

Don’t forget to wax girls!

I noticed an interesting little article yesterday that made me chuckle and sigh in equal measure, but before I get into that, let me make a couple of observations.

First, there are many words in the English language that are similar enough to be confusing, yet have very different meanings. Take naturist and naturalist for example. A naturalist being someone who studies nature, the plants, the ecology, and animals etc. A sort of environmental scientist. The you have your naturists… people who like to prance around in the nude. Following a recent trip to the Galapagos Islands, I kept referring to our excellent guide as a naturist, at which point my friends would ask why he was naked. Why can’t they just be nudists? At least it’s clear what they’re up to!

Second point. I’m not into national stereotypes per se, but… have you ever noticed how certain nationalities can’t seem to wait to get their kit off? And isn’t it a cruel twist that they very people who want to prance around naked, are the very ones you just wish would cover up? Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Kate Moss… but that’s why I keep my clothes ON!

So finally to the article. It would appear that the Germans (no surprise there) are going to open their first NUDIST hotel. There are so many things wrong with that. Why would you open a nudist hotel in a Northern European country where everyone flocks to sunny climes for their vacation? Still, at least they’re keeping it in their own back yard. Anyway… sorry… just made me laugh.

I love Easter. I love Springtime. I love knowing that Summer is just around the corner, but I also love the way the whole of nature wakes up and starts to flourish. I know it sounds corny, but I really do find it inspirational. So this year, I’m trying to find new fashions to feed off that inspiration. Sure the yellows and pinks of yesteryear still work, and for the most part still look fresh and crisp. But I want something more… something exciting to say, “Hey, I’m awake too!”

So… imagine my delight when I found this Marciano Roar top.

Ok, at $98 it isn’t exactly bargain of the century, but don’t you just love the open back? It sits perfectly over your patootie at the back, and with it’s open back is perfect for wearing without a bra to give that added air of suggestion. I mean that’s what Spring is all about right?

But if that’s not daring enough for to you, try this. Oh my word! I can so see myself sipping mimosas at the country club in this chic little number again from Marciano. This cute Fox Dress comes in light blue or black, and what I love about it is its versatility.

I can see this over a pair of jeans or maybe even leggings to provide a tamer look. But if you can pull this off on its own, it’s a sure fire winner. A simple silver necklace, silver sandals and a matching clutch bag and you’ll be the talk of the church fete this Easter! At $138 I think it’s a bargain when you consider everything you can do with it. With different combinations, this dress will see you right through till Autumn!

Hey, did I say silver sandals, necklace and matching bag? Well, knock me down with a feather look what I found in our catalogue!

Can you believe that these gem sandals from MIA start at only $17.98? I know! How do they do it. Actually, I don’t care as long as they don’t stop doing it! Awesome sandals at an even awesomer (yes it is a word, look it up!) price!

When Pammy J designed this little necklace, I’m sure she had this dress etc in mind. It is Perfect! Not too bold, so it doesn’t take the attention away from your stunning bod in this dress, but doesn’t leave your neck open. At only $14.95, it makes a great gift and also comes in a gift box.

This cute little evening clutch bag from Stefani comes in a variety of colors including black and red; at only $39.95 you could really afford a couple just to ensure that you really do have something special for every occasion.

And there we have it. I know what I’m wearing to my first Spring/Easter outing, and it certainly isn’t an Easter Bonnet! As always, everything i feature here can be found in our online catalogue available for browsing on the home page.

Amid all the doom and gloom of the economy and global recession, there is one little area that seems to have shifted into boom mode; second-hand clothing retailers. In my little corner of the world at least, there has been an explosion of these “bring n buy” shops offering to buy your unwanted clothing items, and resell them. My kid sister and I decided to take a tour of them last weekend, and when I say tour, I mean tour, there are at least 6 within a half-mile radius.

I admit I was a little bit skeptical at first; I thought all we’d find would be washed out clothes with holes and missing buttons that would be better placed on a bon fire than the shelf of a fashion store. I was surprised. Not once, not twice, but three times.

First I was surprised at the quality. Much of the stuff looked like it had been worn only once. There were items that still had the original sales tag! I mean, I guess we’ve all done it; we’ve bought something and got it home only to conclude that we don’t really like it, and then you forget to take it back to the store within the return period.

Then I was surprised at the variety. I expected to find lots of jeans and t-shirts, and possibly shoes, but little else. Well, let me tell you my fellow fashionometrists, there was everything you could ever imagine looking for and a whole lot more besides. Every color you could want, and many you would never dream of. My sister bought a delicious black feather boa to match this sweet little dress she’d bought here.

The simple elegance of the boa really sets this dress off. The dress, from Pacific Plex, cost only $39.99, and the boa cost $5, so she has a stunning outfit for under $50. With her hair up, and a nice pair of heels she looks a million dollars!

But the third and final thing that surprised me was that these shops aren’t the bargain bins you’d think they ought to be. They had similar dresses to the one above, selling for $50 or $60. Granted, many of the items were new or next to new, and I understand that they have rent and overheads, but I must admit that the overall pricing did surprise me somewhat.

In the end, I did succumb and bought a pair of bejeweled sandals (you know I’m a sucker for sexy shoes) that look simply gorgeous with my new bootcut jeans from G by Guess bought on here last week for only $54.50.

The sandals are open toe, and they have so much fun and color in them I don’t even need to paint my toe nails. Simply awesome. Now all I need is a party to show them off…